Posts in Musings
Imposter Syndrome

What if people can see right through me? See how fake I am? This lie I am living? And if it’s really this big lie why do I keep living this way? These are the thoughts that run through my mind whenever I have the desire to do something I am passionate about. Being an engineer, a yoga teacher, a martial artist, developing recipes, and even writing these posts. Why?

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Beauty Standards

Growing up in a small South Asian community while being someone who was born in the states was an interesting experience for many reasons. I'd like to write about a very specific one for this post: beauty standards. When it comes to the way I look I don't fit the look of the standard beautiful brown woman.

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New Years Resolutions

This year seemed to go by so quickly and it feels like I have had more new experiences this year than ever (positive and negative ones). I almost got married, got my heart broken in a way I never realized it could be (believe it or not that's two different stories: the first one I have yet to write about and the second one you can find here), explored 4 different cities,

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Not Perfect

Here's something I've been itching to write about for a while but I haven't found the exact words to express it.  I recently had a conversation with someone about all the things I do and the person's response was something I get often when I talk about these kinds of topics: "How do you make time for all that?" or something along those lines.

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MusingsFarihah BegumComment
Little things

If you read my last post I wrote about the end of 2015 and all the realizations I had about my goals and accomplishing them. For this post, I'd like to write about my more recent experiences. It's been two years since I've been (mostly) on my own and I feel like I accomplished more than I ever have in my previous years. Perhaps I feel that way because I'm keeping track of everything...even the little things which isn't something I started doing until two years ago. Ironically it's the little things that make me feel the most accomplished.

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Accomplishments

At the end of the year, I tend to reflect on accomplishments along with the usual new year's resolution planning. I started doing this at the end of 2015  because that was the first year in my life I felt like I accomplished the most so far in my life. I graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering in four years and got my first full-time job that allowed me to be independent.

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My Alter Egos

When it comes to alter egos I believe I have two. But before I describe them, here is a good definition of alter ago I found on Google: A person’s secondary or alternative personality.

My alter egos are pretty much the opposite of each other. One is confident and knows how to make the best of all her situations no matter how good or bad they might be. She's sexy and smart (and a bit conceited if you ask me).

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Where's home?

Growing up in Brooklyn, I often went to Manhattan (what we New Yorkers call "the city") just to walk around. There's something truly fascinating about walking around a city. When I was younger I didn't explore it much because I usually just walked around to get somewhere. I always felt like I was a hamster in a ball, just rolling and rolling until I got to my destination in my own bubble.

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Grief Olympics

I’ve been inspired to write this post from a podcast I’ve been listening to. It was an episode of Strangers that featured another podcast I also really like called Human/Ordinary. The podcaster mentioned something called the grief olympics which means sometimes people often feel the need to one-up others’ sadness because they feel the situation they are in is actually worse than an anyone else’s. But why do we do this?

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Feeling lost 

I have had an extreme case of writer’s block for the past few months. I’ll start a post, keep it as a draft and then I’ll come back and delete it. I feel like I have so much to say and I have so much going on but I’m not ready to share it. And I guess that’s okay. I started this blog for many reasons.

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Saying I love you

I like to think of myself as a sentimental person. I love giving and receiving handmade gifts or something that has a meaning that only the receiver/giver and I would understand. I have watched too many Bollywood movies that are super sappy and romantic, but I love them anyway. I love having deep meaningful conversations about life with anyone who wants to have them. Yet saying I love you is very strange for me.

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Being alone vs. loneliness

On the introvert-to-extrovert spectrum, I identify as someone who tends to fluctuate from one side to the other. Sometimes when I feel like I have been socializing too much, I crave quietness and alone time. On the other hand, I’ll spend a lot of time alone and realize I haven’t interacted with a human being in a while. Human beings are a social species, yet the need for solitude (in some people) is very real.

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