Little things

If you read my last post I wrote about the end of 2015 and all the realizations I had about my goals and accomplishing them. For this post, I'd like to write about my more recent experiences. It's been two years since I've been (mostly) on my own and I feel like I accomplished more than I ever have in my previous years. Perhaps I feel that way because I'm keeping track of everything...even the little things which isn't something I started doing until two years ago. Ironically it's the little things that make me feel the most accomplished. So for me it important to give myself credit for them. And sometimes I still have moments where I doubt myself. That perhaps I'm not as accomplished as I think. Or perhaps I have too much pride and I should tone down the conceitedness a bit and put myself in check. But that's why I started writing these blog posts. To keep myself in check. And you know what? I'm allowed to feel accomplished even though there's still so much left for me to work on. In my last post, I talked about following a formula of expectations. And I did feel a sense of accomplishment from following it but in the past couple of years, I did more and more things out of pure intention and curiosity. And these things give me a different sense of accomplishment. It helped me further my career, it made me discover newfound passions I never even knew I could have, and most importantly it made me improve my relationships with all the important people in my life including myself. I'll mention a few of the things on my list of little accomplishments. If I write about every single one I've had in the past two years I'd probably end up writing a small chapter book. So here it is:

I learned to swim. I've been practicing for a couple of months just getting comfortable in water. Growing up I always kind of feared water because I was never really exposed to it. But one day without even realizing it I started swimming. It was the strangest thing. But probably my favorite accomplishment this year.

I started solo traveling which was yet another rewarding experience. The first time was when I went to Bangladesh by myself last year in November. To be fair I have a lot of extended family there that helped me when I got there and of course my wonderful Naani (that's Bengali for maternal grandmother) who made my visit extra special. I got opportunities to travel by myself for work and I also planned my own solo trips so I can explore more cities. Moving out to a quiet suburb made me realize how much I miss being in a city but I figured there are more cities to explore and enjoy than just New York. So I made the time to visit other cities and soak in the unique vibe they each give off. Along the way I have opened myself up to meeting new people which helps me learn even more about the city I am in.

Of course I also started getting comfortable in where I am now. When people find out I'm from Brooklyn they often wonder why in the world I decided to move to New Jersey. I feel like I've met a lot of people who usually end up moving to New York City from where they grew up. I chose to move here for a few different reasons, one of them being that it was far from home but not too far. And of course, I miss my home the place I was raised where everything is familiar. But that's exactly why I couldn't be there anymore. I suppose that's why a lot of people move to New York right? But if you're already from there where else do you go when you're not quite ready to venture too far? Being here has taught me to be more in touch with nature and to slow down a bit. I find myself hiking more often and going to the beach all the time during the summer. Things I definitely wanted to do when I was in the city but somehow never really got around to. I miss living a fast paced life which is probably why I keep myself so busy. But being here has forced me to learn how to truly take breaks and recharge. When I'm ready to go back to a city life I hope I can keep these lessons with me.

And lastly on this list but definitely not least I started this blog. Writing a public diary has made me get know myself better and has made me learn to love myself more. For the longest time I went through extreme episodes of anxiety and depression. I remember a time when all I felt was fear and sadness. Now I still have fear but it's settled because of all the other feelings I have: courage, sympathy, empathy, and most importantly love. Love for myself and all the important things in my life. Including the little things. Especially the little things.